zachary binx's live journal

ladies and gentlemen, I bow to you

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:30:00 GMT

I wish everyone well, and hope that you enjoy yourselves throughout this summer and life.
However today marks a new day.
I'm just about ready to give up on my live Journal.
it was created for the reason it is destroying me now.
It takes my daily perspective, and when its posted, it seems miserable.
So no more, as i resign from this position, take with you, from me, this:

Life is happy, life is.
life is full of happiness, good friends, and well worth all the daily struggles we all go through,
because at the end of the day, your still you.
And your still a person, your never less, just remember this.
There's always still time, to change you, or how the road of your life will turn.
Time will never stop for you, but your always running on time itself.

My life in free style

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:59:48 GMT

Rising through time, like smoke through glass
a day becomes a mile, i live by ounces and halves.
My clocks are all green, and my days are like night.
A darkness settles over me even through sunlight.
I choke in the water that fills my lungs, screaming at the world:
put down your guns, love someone
please come undone, relax slow down and get some air.
Walking all alone, friends subconsciously there.
Feeling regret, drowning in remorse;
beaten to the bone everyone's lead horse.
Tossed up, rebounded but thrown aside.waiting for the girl
with kaleidoscope eyes, makes destiny's collide.
Make dreams crash and burn, the sign said stop;
but nobody herd.

I'm drowning on this fucking planet,

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 05:14:53 GMT

And I'd like to take as many people down with me as possible.

Graduation 08: T-minus 3 days

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:08:28 GMT

With that said,

Here comes the end to a beautiful thing.
Something despised, unseen golden.

Heres your chance, to be yourself
break away from the crowd. separate out.

Pick true friends from foes, and start down on the path.
Become your true self, and never look back.

On my agenda:

Fri, 30 May 2008 03:36:14 GMT

For tomorrow:
My only exam
Getting my tux
working out what all the kids I'm hanging out with at prom are doing after, by myself.
Getting weed and a run.
Finding people to chip for those things
Go to prom
More assorted bullshit.

Thats about all there would be is if this list probably foretold the next year of my life...BULLSHIT

Are we growing up?

Tue, 27 May 2008 00:17:07 GMT

Or just going down,
Its just a matter of time
Until we're all found out.
So take your tears,
and put them on ice;
Cuz i swear I'll burn this city down
to show you the light.

If we could go on forever...

Wed, 21 May 2008 04:22:04 GMT

The past four years....

High school is something i have reflected on as a whole, more often then not.
I've realized how much I've learned, if not within the walls of Weymouth high, but in general.
I've been introduced to new thoughts and views of the world, been severely corrupted,
Destroyed physically and mentally at points due to stress or whatever, and I've also had my worst times; crushed, left alone and running with the walls of reality, seemingly closing in around me.
Throughout it all though, I've benifited where may have not, or have yet to realize they've done so.
Without enthusiasm, study, or ambition, I've aquired a higher learning than one could have hoped.
Although I've made my mistakes, grew closer to some, drew away from others, and changed probaby everyone thats ever cared to listen to me in someway, I've survived with a personality, and mind in-tact.
As the first game in life comes to a close, I feel i am leaving high school victorious and in many ways, far better cut out for whats ahead.

As for whats ahead...
I have no set destination, only my bed under parents roof, no college to whisk away to, and hardly and ways of being really mobile, even concerning friends. But from here it's just me in control and on my right hand side through this adventure, is every other friend i have, ready to battle this life with me...

When graduations done and done

Mon, 19 May 2008 23:58:38 GMT

I'll be severely dropping "out of the scene".
Prepare to mark me absent.

So

Sun, 11 May 2008 21:20:03 GMT

I have a prom date.
Its Daryeah, which I suppose is cool.
I guess thats it for now.

P.S. happy Mothers day to everyone, even if they're not a mother i guess.

What do I got to do?

Fri, 09 May 2008 01:29:53 GMT

is this getting harder as I go, or am I getting worse?
I thought i knew how to play this game by now.

I really need to get me

Wed, 07 May 2008 02:17:33 GMT

A date for prom...

Ugh.

I'm so sick

Mon, 05 May 2008 20:20:24 GMT

Of feeling this way.
My life passes by,
everyday.
I just wanna,
go out alone.
I don't feel like,
coming home.
This time.

I need peace and,
my freedom.
We can't we.
all get along?
Why battle,
in such vain.
All it causes,
is so much pain.
We're lost.

And nobody really knows the way.

So heres my break point

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:27:05 GMT

Lets hold our breath.
I'm gonna sink down,
through the bottom, yet
you pass the bottle.
I'm back on my feet.
Its time to break loose,
So just follow me;
here we go!

Theres no explaining,
decisions in the past.
Kids grow up
and follow different paths.
Separated,
from the stand-in line.
We're built to follow,
but we pass on by.

Heres our break Point,
now we hold our breath,
I'm gonna sink down,
through the bottom, yet
I pass the bottle,
your feeling better now.
Its time to break loose,
I'll show you how.
Right now!

We come to live by,
what we touch and see.
Slowly defining,
this new reality.
Lost in smoke,
of a generation.
We try so hard,
but can't seem to win.

So heres the Break Point.
We better hold our breath.
I'm gonna sink down,
through the bottom, yet.
We kill the bottle,
Alright, lets get set.
It's time to break loose,
Now this is it!
Last shot!

A short poem of sorts...

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:57:33 GMT

To Love is to lose,
As to pick is to choose.
The decisions we make,
lead to our greatest mistakes.
But theres always hope,
that shines bright.
When your standing in the shadows;
fighting for whats right.

I smoked...

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:49:34 GMT

Trainwreck... its the best Bud ever. Its soo good, honestly, but besides that, today was a random, though chill day, and I'm feeling good.
However theres more on my mind that i need to do some serious thinking about, my life may go through some major turns, but i'll make it out alive. I'm hoping to make some awesome things happen, my life is going to be great I know it.

April 16th, 2008

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 05:39:01 GMT

Today, was simply a long day.

Lets get Fucked up and die.

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 04:43:37 GMT

Well maybe not to such a degree, however!
I really need to have a crazy time some day soon...as in out of this world crazy.
Thank God Vacations coming.

This is whats on Binx's mind on a normal basis...

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 21:31:32 GMT

I want to smoke now.
Graduation, come sooner.
Summer why cant we be attached at the hips.
Gimme a cigarette.
I miss you.
Smoke more weed.
Sex.
Move the fuck out, your family and home, you don't want to leave, but if you stay you won't survive the world you think your living in.
Your life, up to know, has ment nothing and has had no major impact.
Most of what i say ends up bull.
But i don't lie?
(Singing for an hour, here and there).
I want hard drugs.
I want hard booze.
I want to fuck.
I suck.
I'm honest.
I protect people more than myself.
But I'm number one?
More weed!
schools boring
Work is like dentist appointments, slow torture.
Whats around each new turn?
Fuck me.
Literally now.
Blunt in one hand, cigarette in another.
Thats the most common shit in this kids mind, unless someone gives me a topic.

Now that

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 17:03:39 GMT

Variety show 08 is through, and had its ass kicked to the fullest extent, my only concern is fucking Prom.
I don't have a date, and I don't know who I'm going with though i believe it will be a collaboration of people from my North Weymouth crew, they have been closest friends for the longest of times; so of course i am going with them.
However this makes this more complicated, and its stressful to have to worry about a date, because now its my Prom...

I must keep telling myself, i'm not Invincible

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 02:37:04 GMT

I've come to a conclusion, the likes of which may scare me. I've thought about many things and this thought was because of that.

It starts off with the simple fact that every time I think of something, I'll have a answer, solution, or way out; even if it is just a guess or an idea. However, though I am fully aware things could have some negative results, i go on everyday thinking it can't kill me; no matter what i do, really.

I don't use this stupidly and do stupid things, however this makes me feel like i could just go one step farther, and do whatever I want to do, whatever. As long as it doesn't literally harm someone's life, than do it. I feel like I could survive, if not fully get out of any problem that i would want to get myself into.
I continuously tell myself though I'm not invincible, things can go wrong and fuck my life up. however i wonder if I'll care even less when i won't have school holding me in one place.
This all is just a bit unnerving for me to think that i could do somehthing thats not totally reasonable just because I want to, and boldly stick my neck out there in some situations.

Is it normal to have psychological arrogance?

Oh yeah...

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 10:59:16 GMT

I think I may need to jump on getting a prom date, if I even go that is. I want to yes, but going and not are two different things. I dont want to miss it and regret it, but I dont really care about going to prom 08...

I thought...

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:34:28 GMT

I would vent on here real quickly, besides, I haven't in a while. So today, I broke up with Brittany, now Brittany was a girl I met in Brighton, although she lives in Plymouth. She is very nice, and cute, however after a month or so, I couldn't stay committed to her, I just couldn't put my heart into the relationship. That's what i told her, and it is the truth. It was hard to do, but I wasn't getting out of the relationship what i want, which is a number of things. One of which is communication, we talked, a decent amount and it was fun however she did not contribute like i did, in fact it was mainly me who said or started any conversation, and she just didn't have jokes, or crazy stories, or anything about her that she would add. It wasn't like talking to a wall, just someone uninterested, she like to listen to me, but she wouldn't talk and communicate with me, that on a special level you must to stay in a relationship that will correctly function.
At this point, I'm not giving up, but am not looking for love, am not waiting for it, am not searching out girls to date, or looking for hopefuls in the halls. My heart doesn't want to love someone again, not unless i find someone really good, someone that actually, right off the bat, has that special something. Other than that, I just want to party have fun, smoke, drink, laugh, take risk, be insane, hook up, fool around, and live my life. I'm taking what some may call what is "the Sasha Pedro" route, which is simple enough to understand.
I am not looking for relationships, or really interested in them anymore. I just want to, when i feel like doing so, hook up with someone or fool around, simply because I no longer think a relationship is necessary at my point in life, and that all i need to do, is what I will.
That's the plan from now on, lets hope this all goes well my friends, because I'm officially back on the market, but only up for rent.

A.M.

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 10:42:03 GMT

Before school, and todays going to be a fucked day...I can sense it.

With every new day, it feels as if a new sacrifice is made.
All in hopes for a better tomorrow.

For now, my friends will keep the demons at bay.

BUM BUM BUM!

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 03:08:37 GMT

LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS

Top all of those people...

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 04:11:43 GMT

Who I hung out with in the last two days, You make my heart throb.
I love so many people.
And I'm falling for one.